“I can still remember that at the beginning I thought: I can just share everything that is on my mind. I found it very nice and liberating that there was space for that without getting all kinds of opinions or misunderstanding from others, which is often the case with friends. (…) It did me good to reflect on certain events from my life that I still carried with me. It gave me a lot of insights and especially space to reflect on this in this way. I also really enjoyed working with you. You made me feel like I could be myself and express what I wanted, how I wanted. That was very nice and liberating. In general I felt understood and at times when this was not the case, there was also the space to discuss this. Thank you for your positive feedback, the strength you have given me again and for what you see in me.”
“It’s important for us to have a therapist who understands consensual non-monogamy. It’s quite tiring to constantly explain to our environment what our relationship is about, and it is therefore all the more important to have a therapist who already understands the way we choose to live our lives. We want to engage in our relationships mindfully, and are very open to support in this journey.”
“Most other therapies focus on teaching people a set of communication skills. This might work for a little bit, but the relapse to relationship distress is large. We can teach people these techniques to use for colleagues, or friends, but in love relationships they fall short.”
“I wouldn’t have considered therapy a year ago. Right now I feel so desperate, quite honestly I’m not sure if we’ll make it. We’ve had some really rough patches, and I don’t know if things can change. But if we do break-up, I want it to be in a way that honors the bond we have had. In a respectful way. I don’t want to break-up while fighting.”
“We are very much in love with each other. We’ve had some bumps along the way, and although right now we are doing well, we think it’s a great idea to have a professional perspective on our relationship; someone who can help us gain more insight so we can grow even stronger together. I kind of compare it to a maintenance check, but for my relationship!’
“Thank you, Anlacan. Talking to you I can feel the tension evaporating off my body. Its very nourishing to hear you describe my situation, you reflect my circumstances and myself back to me beautifully. I feel held by you and I feel a lot of relief. Thank you for seeing me. I’m really deeply touched.”
“I’ve been experiencing a lot of doubt lately, regarding my relationship. I’ve been through a lot of painful things, and I feel so bruised that I’m not sure where to go right now. I don’t want to come in with my partner, but I’d love to talk to you.”
“Anlacan is such a bright, energetic and thoughtful clinician and person!”
“I think we’re generally pretty OK. It’s just that my partner is unhappy all the time. I’m often walking on eggshells, and just one step away from saying or doing the wrong thing. I just can’t seem to get things right with my partner.”
“The thing is that, I’ve been fighting for this relationship for a long time. And it feels like I’m fighting for it on my own. No matter how hard I try to reach them and get through, it feels like I’m constantly knocking on a closed door… like I’m not important at all. I’m basically alone in my relationship.”